A Victory

I feel really great this morning.  

I finished the Blue Cones sweater and it's a winner.

It fits just right.  It's a really lovely blue.  It's exactly the right length.  Yes it needs a good wash to get the spinning oils out but it is otherwise quite perfect.  I am weaving in ends as I write.  

I don't know how other knitters feel when they finish a garment but I feel deeply fundamentally satisfied.  I took these cones of string things and turned it into something that is uniquely mine.  I made every single stitch, even the error stitches and no one will ever knit a garment exactly like this again.  This is me, jumping up and down inside my heart.  No one can take this from me ever.  This is success.  This is achievement.  This is the pinnacle of everything I ever dreamed I could do and be.  I clothed myself, a very powerful thing. 

And when I put that sweater on, I am armored and protected from the rest of the world.  Knitted garments, handmade garments have always been that to me.  It's odd but I remember the first time I wore something knitted to work and stroked it during the day, and remembered who I was.  I needed that so badly then.  

Ah well.  That was then.  I am not that person in so many ways any longer, but parts of her remains. It is a layer of long ago memory that is only part of who I am now.    

I am going to put in a good bit of time working on My London Fog sweater today. That one is starting to feel as if it is working up fast.  Yay me.