Imaginary Friends and Hands on our Shoulders

Part Two

Earlier in May, I posted about some of the wonderful things I have going on in my life, and how grateful I am. My secret project, which I think first appeared on blog April 21, has been about finding a way to thank those who are directly responsible for this. I spoke about the secret project's trials and troubles here and here, here and spoke of it more thankfully here. I even posted a rough picture of them here.

Last week I wrote about my Imaginary Friends and about how I was meeting a some of them from DC, and from Calgary. This visit was the reason I had a deadline on the secret projects. These people are not just friends, they are the delivery service. TBG will arrange delivery at the next BPH. Mostly, your is coming by expedited mail. I'll hug you when next I see you. Seattle is not that far away. On to my story.

I spoke about the Achenblog, and how the regulars there have become friends. As I said we go off topic, and among the science and the politics, some of us talked doilies. The fellas scoffed at doilies (not really) but the early goofing around revealed just how many of us do play with string.

Mostlylurking sent me a link to the Yarn Harlot, which led me to the wild world of knitting on the Internet and got the ball rolling. CP, who thought I knit when I only crocheted and embroidered ( I did it a lot - like the knitting), commented once on something another Achenblogger, MO, said about loving lacy knit wrist warmers, and how Mo could really use some. One thing led to another, and I was cast as the person to make the wrist warmers, though I originally planned to crochet them.

With all the talk with Mostly and CP , I yearned to knit. I hungered to understand. Knitting was the itch I had given up scratching. A really quiet morning at the office, and a hung up Internet connection revealed the secret of my inadequate knitting. I finally saw the very tiny, stupid, silly thing I was doing differently, that stopped me from feeling good about knitting all these years. I decided then and there to know what else there was in this land of knitting. I posted about my dream, my hope, and my plan on May 28, 2007, and as everyone can see, it has been going non stop since. The wrist warmers hit the skids several times, and with regret, were put aside.

Giving up that quest was hard. It made me feel like a failure, yet again, at a time in my life when I felt like such a failure at every waking moment. I was not good at the job that sort of landed on my plate (supervising a bunch of people) and I could no longer properly put in the hours of the work that I really really liked (the accounting) because of vision problems. The vision problems were leading to longer and longer hours at work and left me feeling like my life was work and sleep. In a lot of ways it was.

By fall, when I gave up my quest to knit Mo's wrist warmers, I was deep under knitting's magical spell. So I could not knit the wrist warmers. Does this mean I give up knitting? Not a chance, bub.

So I knit and learned and knit and loved every moment. Each little thing I learned made me happier. Turning a heel, doing yarn overs, knitting i cord were small accomplishments, but they warmed my heart. The happier I became, the more deeply composed knitting made me feel, the more I knew that I one day soon, I must, for my sanity, give up my very good paying and once loved job. And so I did.

When I did, I had no idea where life would lead me. I only knew my life had to change. Through winter there were some signs of good things to come, and some of these very good things came to be. The others will be along shortly, I'm sure. When the time is right, they will be along and if the time isn't right, it really doesn't matter, I can still knit. When my eyes go fuzzy, I will still knit.

One day, while cleaning up the blog, I realized how close to my blogging anniversary I was, which meant that it was only moments till my knitting anniversary. I realized I already had knitted lace, and the goal I spoke of in that first knitting post was met. I realized how very far I had come, and how very rewarding it has been.

My imaginary friends were coming west, could pass on personal hugs and oh how I wanted to be able to send something that would say just how much these small conversations about string and lace and knitting and wrist warmers have meant.

Nothing would come of it, but to knit the three principles a little something. I tried wrist warmers, but I am still not ready (you never know, it might not be that much longer though). I had enough time for scarves. I had some lovely yarn, chosen with the help and advice of CP and Mostly, for Mo's scarf. I had some really fine yarn given to me by my sons at Christmas, which would be just right for the others. Mostly had sent me a book, Arctic Lace, which contained a fascinating pattern which says exactly the right thing.

So began the secret projects, where I learned that knitting holes is hard (you thought it applied only to clouds) and that I cannot count to 2. Oh I learned a lot of other things along the way, but that is how it goes in knitting. If you just slowly go on, step by step, stitch by stitch, magic will happen when you knit.

Sadly, I don't have a picture with all three together. Only two were completely finished by the time the Northern BPH was held. Mostly's scarf posed for me today in a tree in the backyard, and is just below, and these are Mo and CP's (the black for Mo, and the cream for CP). I wish you could feel their softness, and their delicate warmth. The yarn for Mo's is an Italian 100% Merino lace yarn, Centolavaggi, knitted two strands together, and CP's and Mostly's are 100% Drops Alpaca.

This pattern is called a chevron in Arctic Lace, but to me it says 'Hands on our Shoulders' and that is what this project is named.

Mostly, Cp, Mo. They were small things you said and did. They were insignificant silly words, but they have meant so very much to me. Little did you know that you were changing a life, Mostly, when you sent that link. Little did you know that you were restoring a soul, CP and Mo, when you chatted about lacy wrist warmers. Who could have said where it would lead?

In every way, my life is better for the it. When I look outside, my world is coloured just a little differently. Its a warmer, richer, cozier place. I do work that just makes me giddy with joy, and I have a whole pile of new yarny friends. Without the three of you, I don't know that I would have had the strength to find it myself. If I never knit another thing, I could live happily, knowing that I did

I believe that hand worked things are a gift of generations. Each of us learns from those around us, from aunts and friends, from grandmothers and mothers. Each of those who have taught us some small part of our craft have touched our shoulders and steady us as we work on. Each stitch carries with it something of all those many hands.

Among all the threads of my life, there will always be knitting to remind me that your hands were on my shoulders, guiding, believing, inspiring me on. I hope these scarves will remind you of mine.