The Thing About a Blog

The thing about a blog is that it constantly wants feeding and caring for.  It's like a pet but with a different set of daily chores for it.  I do occasionally think about stopping but the truth is that I need it.  It is part of what I do, part of the routine that has come to frame and form my days and weeks and months and years, particularly since Brian has been gone.  It is hard to believe how long ago that is, and harder to understand how it only happened yesterday in my heart.  In a few short days it will be nine years  since that horrible summer.  

I can't wait for summer to be over.

The blog is going to go on a bit of a vacation for a few weeks.  Partly the vacation stops me from writing only about the long ago stuff surrounding that summer but it is also that I need to take a bit of a break for the heat.  Heat makes it really hard to simply be.  I have done all the medical stuff but the bottom line is summer will be over soon enough but meanwhile, my brain is tired.

I will be back though and will probably write a bit  even as  I take a break.  This is where I natter on and where I work through stuff.  It is where I sort out what I have done and what I will do.  Writing is where I say the things that I need to get out of my head and on to paper so that they stop whirling.  To stop writing at all would be about as easy as stopping knitting...yeah neither of those things will happen.

But a vacation is in order and so that is what I am giving me.   The thing about a blog is that it needs a vacation because I am my blog and in a weird way, it is me.