Friday 3 April 2009

Its Still Friday

I woke up with an urge to check the calendar again. Was it Friday or was it Saturday and I had to work?

Its still Friday and you have no idea how this small thing blows me away. I've had 3 days off in a row. And not so long ago I had a week off. And just before that, near Christmas I had another more or less week off. And in the fall I found a week off. And there were a few times in summer where it felt like I had a week off.

In the 15 years I worked at my previous job, it felt like I never had time off, even when I had time off. Especially those last 5 years. A weekend felt like an hour and weeks off were things I didn't even have time to ask for. Actually having time off was not the problem. I did, though not nearly enough. The problem began and ended in my head, letting myself feel like everything was too compressed. It was a stressful way to think and it has taken months to train myself to think in a different way.

These days, with my work a bit, play a bit, and playing at work is totally ok sort of life, I'm starting to feel like grocery shopping is not a major event, like haircuts really only take 20 minutes, and as if I can stop for a few minutes on any given day and sit and have a cup of coffee and read or knit without totally screwing up my life.

Part of me is sitting here wondering is this how normal feels? All of me is counting my blessings at how very lucky I am.



1 comment:

jill said...

You are right in all you have to say about the feelings re work. I do enjoy my job but I also love my days off even more and they never seem to be enough. On the days when I am feeling stressed and overwhelmed the days are so much shorter than when I just accept the time I have got. I love your knitting and the colours you have in the dyed wools. I like knitting but tend to do it when it comes to winter as it always feels like a cold weather hobby to me. Both of the 36 and 46 stitches look good in their own way and whichever you choose will make a gorgeous scarf.