Feeling like I'm home

I think it finally is setting in, that I am home, that the wedding is done, that the holidays are over, that life can get back to normal and routine.

Or maybe its just that the knitting I began when we traveled is done. Aestlight Shawl by the Shetland Trader, Gudrun Johnston.

An enjoyable little knit but it is the yarn colour that is most striking and that is what I am going to miss. I've lived quite some time now, with the prospect of knitting with these colours in my stash. They have always been a possibility.

And now they are done, I miss them. Its like a little security blanket of having them to look forward to is gone.

Is that why stash is so important? That we like to surround ourselves with the security of known possibilities? That stash comforts, cushions and balances the face of other possibilities we don't know and cannot control?

When I knit socks my head is filled with which sock yarn I'll knit next but with other projects, there is a lull, a place where I have nothing, where I feel more than a little empty.

I'm there and a sensible person would just pick up and finish one of these many things that are already on the go. But not I. It's to early in the new year to start with old things.

What is next? I don't know, I don't have anything clear in mind. Here I stand, on the edge of all possible knitting with a soft cushion there to greet me when I do choose to fall.

As much as anything, this standing on the edge of knitting the next thing makes me feel like I'm home.