Agatha

I went to bed last night not feeling the love for the beautiful yarn and not sure I like this pattern for it. The combination worries me.

I got up this morning with every intention to finish the swatch for the Sit 'n Knit group. I was hoping that maybe they could give me guidance, but when I sat down to work on it, I realized that there was yet another error, and that I'd have to rip the swatch back. Again.

All I see is errors. Big errors. Massive errors. Errors tantamount to utter failure of knowing how to knit. Every flaw in my technique shines. My eyes see flaws I am pretty certain I didn't create. All my inadequacies, every little problem laid out bare before me. This yarn is tearing holes in my fragile knitting self esteem. To make matters worse, I can't see the beautiful flow of the design.

Here is my first pattern swatch in Classic Merino. Can you see how the border folds back on itself to flow around the top of the lace medallion in the centre? See how that those stitches gently surround the base of the next medallions above?
That is what I see when I see Agatha. I see the waves of rows that this design creates and I am drawn to it. I don't see that on the Cotton Viscose partial swatch. You be the judge.

Hey. Wait a minute. If I look past the bad knitting, the pattern errors, the very flawed second medallion, it is there. The graceful folding back of the rows on themselves is right there in the photo.

I can see it in the photo, but not when it is right in front of me. The camera is seeing with different eyes.

I had pretty much given up this shawl in this yarn when I sat down to write this morning. I have gone through the stash yarn and had chosen which one I would make the pattern in. It was all worked out in my head before I sat down here this morning. I thought that was what I was writing. It seems not.

Looking at the pictures gives me a whole new perspective. It isn't a forgiving yarn, but I knew that from my first try. I will have to make a concerted effort to take care with the pattern stitches, no sloppy slipping allowed. My technique is going to have to better but everything I had hoped to say is there. I see challenges ahead and I think I understand the path.

This is going to be a project of small moves accomplishing great things. It is there, and I can reach it.